i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
