"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
