sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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