**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
