Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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