My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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