Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
