She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
