yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
