I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
