i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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