Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
