anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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