what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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