Don't you send me to vm
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
