If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
