Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
