Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
