Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize