i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
