you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i think im in europe. pls send help
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
