I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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