So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
