Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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