Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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