i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
