There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
