you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
