so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
