Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
