I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize