Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
