she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
