dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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