i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
