Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
