Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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