I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
