Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
