I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
