you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize