i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
