5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the liver wants what the liver wants
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
