sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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