U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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