i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
