Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
