Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No subtext here. People are naked.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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