I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
