life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize