Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
