It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize