yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
