eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
