Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
