Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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