On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
