i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
