Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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