No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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