Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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