Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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