my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
