What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
