"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
