Don't make out with my wife yet
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
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