Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You ruined the universe
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
