He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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